Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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