oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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