The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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