Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
