Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
