plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
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Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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