I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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