Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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