I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize