I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
