At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
