I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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