you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
