I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
