i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There's always time for handjobs
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
