I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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