His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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