I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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