I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
