lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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