I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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