Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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