Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
