i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
