he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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