I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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