I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
