Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
