Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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