I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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