Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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