your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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