Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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