His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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