I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
