Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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