WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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