He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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