Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
