zippers are such a cool invention
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
