Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this just has baby written all over it
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
