no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
