I'm really into asian looking animals
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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