just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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