everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
