My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
