Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
