I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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