First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
