i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
