I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
as a side note pls kill me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
