We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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