We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
