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I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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