I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
