My hair reeks of homosexuality.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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