i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
