he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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